Hunting for flies

Hunting flies takes a great deal more work than you could ever expect. Before we begin: Like any athletic activity prepare your body for the effort with a good stretching and breathing routine to warm up your muscles and your mind.

First you must train yourself in the art of spotting the black splotch against your wall that is different than the dirt, tarantulas or any other miscellaneous that may be posted there. Next you will need your weapon; an old rag is preferably as you are hunting truly dirty little bugs, although any piece of cloth will suffice. Then you need nothing but patience. Track your target as it flies, unsettled, although with some practice you will be able to sneak up on the little suckers and skip straight to the killing. The next is not for the weak of heart. Once your quarry has landed cock your arm into a position appropriate for throwing, take a small inhale for the effort and swing that cloth as fast and as hard as you can, although depending on the surface you may wish to hold back a little of that strength. In time you will become a master at the art and you will find yourself an efficient killer, with no need to stalk the same fly twice. Since we are just starting however, you may find the need to do so. In that case track the fly with as little movement as possible since it will only settle that much faster. Once you have again lulled it into the stupor of false security, prepare and adjust your attack as is necessary. Once you have successfully cleaned out the host of flies that love to claim your dwelling for their own, sweep up their little remains or point them out to your dog for immediate consumption. Unlike most creatures, flies are not daunted by the death of their own so dispose of their little carcasses as fast as possible.

Side note: this is a great way to pass a good fifteen minutes in your day and can be quite therapeutic. Try enhancing this de-stressor of an activity with a little mood music, incense, or a good snack (after you wash your hands). Use this activity to relieve tension, release aggression, or concentrate instead on using it to clear your mind. Can be used as a substitute or ending to your morning or afternoon yoga routine.